Bayside Tiger Tell-All

Bad news for those of us who wish to continue believing that the charges of Miss Bliss Mr. Belding and Bayside High are frozen forever in the hugest time-out Zack Morris has ever perpetrated. New York Magazine reports that Dustin "no relation to Mike D of the Beastie Boys" Diamond has signed a deal to reveal all of "Saved by the Bell"'s dirty secrets in a tell-all book: "Behind the Bell."

As nerdy character Screech, Dustin improbably stayed on the show from its original "Bliss"ful incarnation all the way through "Saved by the Bell: The New Class," where an adult Screech served as Principal Belding's administrative assistant. From those 13 years roaming the halls of Bayside, Dustin -- along with the help of a ghostwriter -- will cull stories of "sexual escapades among cast members, drug use, and hardcore partying."

Also: What was really in those caffeine pills that turned Jessie Spano from "so excited" to "so ... scared" in a flash.

Do you want to read "Behind the Bell," or would you rather preserve your "SBTB" memories as is?