Episode Name: "Father Knows Less"
Season 1, Episode 6
Original Airdate: June 12, 2008

In a Word:SOAPnet continues the crazy-family chronicles with "Father Knows Less," getting cozy with 25 know-nothing daddies.

The Action:At No. 25 this week -- and not wearing a fat suit -- is Eddie Murphy. After Eddie split up with his wife, he started dating ex Spice Girl Mel B. The relationship ended abruptly -- but shortly afterwards, Mel announced she was pregnant with Eddie's baby. Eddie denied the child was his and demanded a DNA test. Comedienne Sharon Huston points out an ironic twist to Eddie's behavior, saying, "Eddie Murphy does all these family films -- but what's funny is when he has to do it in real life, he requires a DNA test." Comedienne Kathleen Madigan thinks Eddie had a point: "I don't blame him, because she was a Spice Girl; it could have not been his. I'm sure he knew 'I'm just one phone number in her Blackberry.' If I was him, I would have said, 'Let's wait and see on that one.'" The mystery and speculation ended when the DNA test came back and proved that Eddie had indeed fathered Mel's baby girl. Busted!

Port Charles, the fictional setting of "General Hospital," brings us a real psycho dad at No. 20 with Anthony Zacchara. As head of one of two major crime families, he's ordered hits, committed murder, and even gone on a stabbing spree. Sarah Brown, who plays his daughter on the show, thinks, "He's absolutely certifiably insane. He's mean, but he's insane too." Sharon Huston thinks, "If you father's Anthony from 'General Hospital,' I don't know what you can do to stay on his good side. Me personally, I would be sending him flowers, wash his car. Whatever you do, Dad, please don't kill me." Comedian Chuck Nice thinks Anthony is a pretty dark dude: "When a man kills his wife because he's trying to shoot YOU ... that should pretty much tell you whatever daddy wants, daddy gets."

Seattle Grace brings us Daddy No. 15, with Thatcher Grey from "Grey's Anatomy." He abandoned Meredith and her mother more than 20 years ago. When his second wife died on Meredith's operating table, he reacted by slapping her. Sonya Eddy from "General Hospital" was both shocked and angered by what she saw: "When I was sitting there watching that, knowing how much that Meredith was trying to please her father, and this man hauls off and cracks her in the face -- I dropped my grapes! I'm like -- no he didn't! I couldn't believe that she took it because honey, if it had been me? I might have forgot that was my daddy."

Former teenage heartthrob Dr. Noah Drake from "General Hospital" is our No. 8 dad. He made quite a sensation when he first arrived at Port Charles. Sarah Brown says, "Just look at the guy, he's dreamy. Hottie." But when he blamed himself for the death of his wife on his operating table, he started to hit the bottle -- and turned into a mess. When he needed a liver transplant, his doctor son offered up a piece of his. But Noah wouldn't take it -- initially. Sonya Eddy thinks although their relationship is strained, there's real love between father and son: "Patrick loves his father. He might be confused and conflicted about that love, but the fact is, it's still there."

One of the most diabolical dads on our countdown comes in at No. 2, with Adam Chandler from "All My Children." Pine Valley's self-made billionaire made his fortune by being a cutthroat bastard. In his personal life, he's even LESS dignified. Imagine having him as your dad! Sharon Huston says, "Who would wanna call that guy on Father's Day? It's like, 'Hi Dad, Happy Father's Day! Did you try to burn down my house today? No? Thanks!'" Alicia Minshew, who plays Kendall Hart on "All My Children," says about Adam, "He's a bit of a control freak. He's gotta make sure everything is the way he's wants it to be or he'll lose his mind."

Larry Birkhead is the top dad on this countdown, landing at No. 1 for his efforts to be recognized as the biological father of the late Anna Nicole Smith's daughter. Larry fought hard to win custody, even after Anna stated publicly (just before her death) that he was not the father ... claiming lawyer Howard K. Stern was the real baby daddy. Shortly after Anna's passing, Larry went to the Bahamas and got into the custody ring to duke it out for his little girl. Chuck Nice is dubious of Larry's intentions though: "I really think it is noble when a man steps up and claims responsibility for his baby ... that could potentially be a billionaire." Willie Garson from "Sex and the City" agrees: "I think the main thing that ran through Larry's head was 'Well, I'm the poorest one of all six, so I'm gonna get that damn baby.'" Larry did eventually win custody, and has moved on to begin the upbringing of his daughter -- with the legacy of a troubled mom looming. Sharon Huston suggests, "The advice I would give Larry for raising his daughter would be One: She's not a Cabbage Patch Kid; she's a real person. Two: Don't buy her any Precious Moments figurines. It's just tacky. And three: Tell her that her mom was a nurse." And Lisa Gastineau of the "Gastineau Girls" thinks it'll be a tough life down the line, saying, "I think that he's got his hands full because his life is going to stay a media circus."

Our Take: Every dad's got his quirks -- but when you're famous (or infamous), things can get complicated.

For a photo recap of last night's episode, visit these "Crazy in Love" galleries:
Top 5
6-15
16-25

Your Take: Is your dad a little kooky? Do you know any dads as clueless as the ones on our countdown?

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